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starry_eyed_surveys
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Name: Some names changed.
Gender: Female
Interests: "be who you are, and say what you feel. because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Member Since:
4/21/2008
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| it seems as if every fucking December i go through the same exact shit. i go through certain 'friends' betraying me and only wanting to talk to me again unless they: (a) feel bad for me, or (b) have no one else to talk to. i went through this last December and you can read back to my old December 2008 posts. i wrote a poem about how i am shunned at school by girls that have been my 'friends' since the first grade or longer. it always happens around this time of year. i cry and cry and cry and nothing gets better and everything gets worse. i have a little bit of hope to hold onto. maybe a string, but that's about it. i have done nothing wrong but i knew all of this would happen. my heart literally tears in half with the pain i go through everyday in school. i have resorted to sitting in the bathroom during lunch. i am a SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL. i am 'friends' with these SENIORS IN HIGH SCHOOL THAT SHUN ME.
i wish i had other girls that i could go to and sit with, but the truth of the matter is... i just don't. i sit in the bathroom for at least twenty minutes and hold back tears. i'm on my cell phone and pretend to go on the internet and act as if i have a life, but i know i don't. deep down, i feel as if i'm clinically depressed. on one hand, i can count the actual friends i have. one, two, three. bam. that's about it.
i have five months left of this shit. i know i can pull through, but what happens after high school? i will have no one to put in my senior shoutouts in the yearbook. i have no prom date. and sadly enough, i won't be able to have a graduation party because there will be no friends there. i know it sounds like i'm bitching and complaining, but i am always on the verge of tears. there's something wrong with me and i'm completely broken. i don't know what to do. so i choke back tears and try not to think of apparent alternatives. i'm lost.
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| bolding survey!
courtesy of hilary at surveystothemaxxx!
I've recently made up with an old friend of mine.
I'm getting a new phone soon.
I haven't seen the person I like in two, going on three months. <- more than that... four months...
They're in the armed forces. <- he's going into the Marines.
I work tomorrow.
Someone that I'm close with is having a birthday soon.
I'm actually kind of really excited about school.
I like to run.
I got some new clothes the other day.
Someone wants me to come over.
I drank tonight.
I am not drunk, though.
It's really hot in the room I'm in.
I live with my grandma.
I drive a pretty decent car.
I know what I want in life.
And I have for a while.
I have a medical condition not a whole lot of people are aware of.
I love looking at Delia's and Alloy catalogs.
I never buy anything from them though.
I don't like Diet Mt. Dew.
I like my job.
I'm in my pajamas.
I need to go do something.
So I'm going to go do it.
PEACE! ♥
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| What venue was the last real concert you went to at?
comcast center.
Does your best friend and their mom have the same last name?
yes.
When was the last time you watched a horror movie? What was it?
i watched paranormal activity bootleg at sarrah's with her and andrea a couple of weeks ago.
Does your mom think Robert Pattinson (Twilight) is attractive?
you'd have to ask her, but i don't think so.
What color is your cell phone?
mostly black.
Are you currently waiting for a phone call? From who?
nope.
Do you have any drugs in your bedroom?
i do. :/
Is there a feature on your face that people compliment you on?
there isn't one.
What are your plans for the rest of the week?
going to school tomorrow and wednesday, going to plymouth state university with sarrah on thursday, then i have nothing planned for the weekend.
Have you taken your license test yet?
nope. i haven't scheduled it yet, but i will soon.
Are you annoyed with the side-bang phase?
well, i don't think side-bangs are attractive.
What kind of perfume do you mainly use?
i don't use perfume.
How many studded belts do you own?
i have one in my room, but it's not mine.
Has your boyfriend/girlfriend ever had braces?
what boyfriend?
If you could get one piercing and one tattoo, where would you want them?
i don't really want a tattoo anymore. and i'm dying to get my tongue pierced!
What have you eaten today?
nothing yet haha. i'm too lazy to make anything. :/
What was the last thing you dissected in a science class?
ugh, i think when we dissected a frog in my sophomore year.
Have you ever experienced being in love?
yes.
What's your favorite thing to do?
i don't even know anymore.
Have you ever drew a portrait of somebody? Who?
haha, no. i haven't.
Did you wear a jacket today?
nope.
Where did you buy the last album you purchased?
i don't really buy albums anymore.
What is your best class in school?
that i'm doing well in? right now it's english, surprisingly.
What was the last kind of vitamin water you consumed?
I HATE VITAMIN WATER.
How many times a week are you told that you're beautiful?
hahaha zero.
How many years apart are you and your boyfriend/girlfriend?
who is this boyfriend you're speaking of?
Have you kissed more than two people of the same sex?
i've never kissed anyone of the same sex, ever.
How many times have you had sex in one day?
i'm a virgin.
Did you exercise at all today?
i never do. :/
What color of hair did you have the beginning of this school year?
it's the same. i haven't done anything to it.
Who are you planning to hang out with this weekend?
haha probably no one.
When are you getting a new phone?
not for awhile because i just got a new one.
Have you ever seen a transvestite in person?
probably.
What was the last show that you ALMOST went to but didn't?
i'm not sure.
What did you wear today?
i haven't changed out of my pajamas yet hahah. i'm god awful.
What book are you currently reading?
i have to find one to read!
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| So you like a guy huh?
fjksdafkjds. i don't know anymore.
Who's this lucky guys name?
billy.
Does he live near you?
he lives about fifteen-twenty minutes away.
When did you first like him?
april '08 is when i began to like him.
Where did you first see him?
june '07, at work.
How long have you liked him?
my feelings for him have been on and off for about two years now.
Do you talk about him a lot to your friends?
i try not to haha but sometimes it just slips.
Is he single?
yes.
Do your friends tease you about you liking him?
not really. sometimes they'll be like, 'so how's billlllly? aw, billllllly!'
Do you find yourself constantly looking at him?
i don't see him anymore.
Does he look at you constantly?
nope. :/
How close have you been near each other?
i don't know?
What's his best feature in his appearance? Describe.
his full blown smile. he just looks so fucking adorable. fjsfjddsfk. :)
Why do you like him?
i really don't know. i keep going back to him though. so there's something there...
Do you think he could be 'The One'?
i don't like to think like that.
Does he know you exist?
yes.
Does he remember your name?
well, yeah.
On a scale of 1 - 10 how attractive is he?
he's about an eleven. :)
Does he have any siblings?
he has one little sister named kathryn.
Have you ever asked him out?
nope.
Have you ever tried talking to him?
well, yeah. obviously.
Is he popular with the ladies?
not to my knowledge.
Does he know you like him?
yes. he does now. i told him.
How crazy are you for him?
i wouldn't even say that.
Have you two ever hugged?
yup. :)
Do you get jealaous when he's with another girl?
yes but most of the time i don't show it. i'm crazy jealous and i hate it.
How does he dress?
i don't know... his typical outfit would be like jeans, a shirt, and a pair of sneakers haha.
Do you know when his birthday is?
october fourteenth.
Is he older than you?
by two years.
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| GUYS.
by syndicatedlove
List seven guys you know. :)
1. brendan.
2. billy.
3. shayne.
4. shane.
5. bryan.
6. colm.
7. domenic.
Sooo.. about numero uno :
What's his name again? Do you have any nicknames for him?
his name's brendan. no, not really. but sometimes i'll call him bren.
Is there a reason why you put him first on this list?
he's the first guy that popped into my mind.
What's the most hilarious memory you have with him?
i can't just choose one.
What's the farthest you've gone with him sexually?
everything but sex.
Do you know his family members? If so, name them! :
i don't know them personally, just enough to say hello. his parents... i forget their names, but i think his dad's name is thomas, his two sisters named molly and annie, and his older brother named thomas.
Guy number 2 :
How often do you see this person & why?
the only time we saw each other was at work. since he doesn't work with me anymore, we don't see each other.
When's the first time you two met and what was your impression of him?
i really wish i could remember.
Is he good looking?
yes.
Name a random fact about him :
he's going to boot camp in may.
What's something that attracts you most to him?
his confidence.
numba threee.. :
What comes to mind when you think of this person?
the time we had together in his basement over the summer.
Is he a good friend to you?
not as good of a friend as i thought he would be. but i mean, he's there for me, so.
Would you ever / have you ever dated this guy?
i have before, but not again.
If you had a chance to say anything you wanted to him, what would you say?
i miss you lots. i wish you would tell me when you're home from college because i'd go to see you. this time last year, we had an amazing relationship. i wish that never ended, to be honest.
Do you two have any inside jokes?
yes.
NUMBER FOUR. :
How has this person changed since you first met him, if at all?
he's changed a lot ever since he's gone off to college, but not necessarily in a bad way, i guess. i finally saw him today and he even looked different.
Have you ever taken a trip with him?
no haha.
What's his best quality? Worst?
he's extremely nice and friendly. and he gives the best hugs. :)
as for a bad quality, i honestly can't think of one.
What's something you two have in common?
we both have worked at the same place.
Have you ever kissed this person?
nope.
numero cinco! :
What are this person's hobbies?
smoking weed.
Do you miss him at all? If so, what do you miss?
i do miss him but not as much as i used to. i miss our friendship and our closeness. i know it was all in the sixth grade, but it meant a lot to me. he's changed so fucking much. it hurts.
Have you ever been romantically interested in him?
i had a tiny crush on him in the third grade hahaha.
When was the last time you saw him?
that i can recall? back in april.
Do you know a secret about him?
um, probably.
guy number six. :
How long have you known him?
not long at all. just a few years.
Do you know if he drinks/does drugs?
occasionally, he drinks. he's never done drugs.
Is there something only the two of you would understand?
i don't think so.
Does this person have a girlfriend?
nope.
How do you two usually communicate (via Facebook, in person, etc.)?
we don't communicate period.
FINALLY! Lucky number seven. :
Why did he make the list?
honestly, i was thinking about the guys i've kissed hahah and he popped into my mind.
So, what draws you to this person?
i never even know.
How strong is your relationship?
well, it's not.
What's something unique about his personality?
this sounds weird, but his voice is so quiet that when he yells i get scared haha. it's not what you'd expect it to be. he's like, silent but deadly. so you definitely can't judge him by his cover.
When did you last talk?
maybe a month ago.
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